i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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