3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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