with your own penis?
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
