people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize