Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Randomize
