How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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