whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
