Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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