He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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