Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Hippo gnu deer
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
