You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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