Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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