just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
