I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
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