Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
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