ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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