Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Randomize