I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
