yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
