Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
