Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
