i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize