their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize