For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
