You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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