i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
