Well apparently he's into motor boating.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
