google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Please don't give away my fajitas
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