Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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