Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
