All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
