How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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