i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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