I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Randomize
