I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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