HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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