is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
