Someone shit on the floor
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
