Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
