Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
We are two peas in an std pod
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
