You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
