Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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