u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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