singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Randomize
