i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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