He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
