Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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