You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
