And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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