dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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