Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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