Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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