Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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