Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Randomize
