I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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