How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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