physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
