Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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