You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
