WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
