I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
