eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
