just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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