ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
