Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
My vagina just clenched in fear
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
