So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
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