I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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