Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
