Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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