I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
